Advice from Gardening Mamas

K is an amazing child! She is fun, clever, very happy, usually in a really good mood, she’s extremely verbal, so we can already have detailed conversations. I have a hard time remembering that she is not even 2 yet. But, these last few weeks K has not been listening so well. I say “K, leave the bread on the counter, we are going to make sandwiches” and in an instant the bread is gone. “K, will you put your sippy on the table please” and it goes flying across the room. But, the place that I lose my temper the most and seem to be having the hardest time with is my garden. When I use to ask K to be gentle to the plants, she would pat them nicely. Today, I asked her to let the flowers grow so they can make food for us… she ripped up some eggplant, picked 2 flowers and almost ripped up another. I know that she isn’t 2 yet, but since she use to listen when I asked her not to do something, it is very hard not to raise my voice when she is continually disobeying now. I’m sure it is confusing for her since she knows that what is in the garden is edible. How do you guys handle it with little ones in the garden, or anywhere for that matter? I guess this is the ‘testing the limits’ of the terrible/terrific twos. But, since talking it out and giving her ‘quiet time’ isn’t working, I am looking for other suggestions.

That being said, the amazing brainiac told me that yesterday Suki (our dog) begins with S

5 thoughts on “Advice from Gardening Mamas

  1. Okay, well, the thing is consistency. You can be consistent without raising your voice or spanking. My point of view is highly controversial, but here’s the way I see it. Gwen is at the age (and Kaia too) that if they learn that they can get away with disobedience, then it will be a struggle for years to come. It still will be, even if you tackle it, but it’s best to establish a good base.

    So, when you are willing to tackle an issue….like taking off shoes when coming in the house or staying in a certain area of the garden while you’re working, then it’s probably going to take a couple hours of consistent working.

    When you start tackling that particular battle, you must be perceived to “win” every struggle. This puts it a bit harsher than I would like, but I think it shows what I’m thinking. :) So, if Gwen is disobeying, I must be willing, before I take on the war, to take on every single battle that comes along.

    I have never felt that it’s worth it to take on an issue if the consistency is not there. So, if you’re going to work on obedience, then you have to be willing to stop what you’re doing every single time she disobeys so that you can work with her.

    I know I just repeated myself a bunch of times, but, hey, I’m on some strong painkillers. That’s my excuse and I’m stickin’ to it! :)

  2. Nicely put….(consistancy is not my strong point but..) I ususally follow the keep 4 things in mind. Choose your battles carefully, and I feel disipline in only nescessary if they are hurting A. themselves, B. people , and C. property (thats not theirs). Time outs for 2 min will get her away from doing what shes doing. You can sit with her if she cries etc,. I was also taught to mirror their feeling help her learn the word and ways to express herself. “I can see your angry..etc,” Distraction still works well at 2yo, maybe you could give her a job like using a watering can to help water the plants, or her own little space she can “experiment “with.
    Kids will forever test limits 2yo are busy little luck ! (remember too in six months she’s go through another growth spurt and it will be something else)

  3. ahh, testing her limits already! Lucky you! 😉

    Not much more I can add, consistency is key. But then I have a rather docile girlchild.

  4. To start with, I think I am going to get her her own little watering can. I know she would love to go around watering the plants!

  5. Aaah, did this post resonate. My dear Isaac [almost 18 mo] has been into everything since he was mobile, so we haven’t had much experience with obedience. Weary of saying “no” all the freaking time and losing my temper, which caused me to speak too loudly for my liking, I checked out a really helpful book in the library “Positive Discipline,” specifically for ages up to three. They suggest the good old redirecting until age 2.5 or 3 is the best strategy, as a child can’t really reason until that age. I know, it’s a broad, sweeping tactic, and every child is different, but it has been working so well for Isaac! Now when I’m doing something that he used to either try to destroy or so badly interfere with that I couldn’t get it done, I try in advance to come up with a job for him to help [like the watering can] or just describe what I am doing along the way and integrate him. If he doesn’t cooperate, he’s removed from the activity. It takes a lot of time and energy, but it leads to a lot better cooperation than the head butting we used to do, which didn’t produce much but tears. Of course, as I am writing this, he is tearing up a book….must run.

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