Have any of you heard of “exercise induced asthma“? Well, I was diagnosed (branded) with this when I was 13 and tried to run track. I could handle the 50 yard dash and that was about it. Anything more and my throat started closing up. My doctor at the time said many kids had it, particularly in the mountains of NC, and many of them grew out of it as they got older. So, I waited, and tried different sports. I wanted to be fit and be one of those girls that could prove herself through athletics…I was Xena Warrior Princess in the making. But, whatever I tried to do, I was hindered by this thing that caused my throat to close anytime my heart rate went up. I tried to tell myself that it was all in my head and I was just branded when I was young…’everyone feels their throat get tight, but since no one ever told them it was a problem, they just keep on going’. Well, I’m !*@#*&^% sick of it!! All I want is to be active with my family! I wanted to go on a simple bike ride with Toby and K today, but I couldn’t even do that!! We went about 2 miles (maybe!) and I had to go home! Any hill and I would be wheezing. I tried to tell myself, “get over it Maria! You’re just pretending ’cause you don’t want to sweat” or “you just don’t want people to see how much you suck at this. Just keep pushing it and it will pass! You can peddle a stupid bike! JUST GO!” But, the next thing I know, I am fighting to take off my helmet because I feel like I am drowning! I hate this!! People seem to have so much fun biking, running, playing ultimate frisbee, whatever!! I don’t want K to miss out on any of this stuff because mom’s got whimpy lungs! And I don’t want to miss out on any of this stuff either!!
I think I am going to go eat some ice cream! If I am going to have to be an un-athletic lump, then I might as well enjoy it!!